Time

Life is a trip. God put me on the road to service in the Navajo Nation and three months later returned me home. To see how the whole story began click here. I never much minded someone else getting a raise when I didn't. It never came directly out of my own pocket and I tried to believe in fairness and honesty. I was lucky enough to be in a vocation that paid pretty well, based mostly on experience and not education. The Marine Corps trained me in data processing in the mid-60's. That was a time when most households weren't even getting computerized bills, let alone anyone imagining that there might come a day that computers would be almost as common in homes as were televisions. I led in with that paragraph in order to say that I hope you'll be fair with me. I'm set to do some good old belly-aching. I know many people who are so much worse off than I am and I don't mean to take anything away from their problems. I'm certainly not trying to trump any complaints they may feel justified in making. I hope that they won't think that, like the pay raises I mentioned, I'm trying to take anything out of their pockets. I'll try to always have a sympathetic ear, but this is my blog and my complaints, so I'll tell you up front, if you don't want to read them, pass me by right now! My last great day was on Thursday, August 6th of this year. That doesn't sound like too long ago, but let me put it a bit in perspective for you. August 6th was just over 70 days ago. We now have exactly 70 days left in this year. Within the next 70 days, you'll pass out candy on Halloween. You'll eat turkey for Thanksgiving. You'll celebrate the birth of the Christ Child. You'll veg-out in front of the TV and watch a New Year's Day full of football. I will begin work at H&R Block on the 2009 tax season. Are you ready for the next 70 days? I wasn't ready for the last 70 and those seem to have been 70 long days. How do I know that August 6th was the last great day? I know because it was the day before I found out I would be leaving FCNAM and the Navajo Reservation at the end of August. The 2+ months prior to that were packed with great days. The week of the 6th, the Maple Springs UMC mission team was in Window Rock and I spent most of the week with them. I spent one day that week taking my son, Ron, back to Shiprock to see the kind of things I did at work and meet some of my friends. I spent a couple of days doing the kind of things that I had learned helped to make FCNAM run just a little bit more smoothly. I loved them all! I've had a few pretty good days in the last 70 days. The Friday before I left, there was a lunch for me. There were hugs and tears and I knew that I was leaving lifelong friends. On the way home, I was able to visit with Jerry and Lynnette Harris, who have been friends for the past 25 years. Also on the way home, I was able to visit my sister and brother-in-law in Tampa and spend a little time with their sons and daughter-in-law. My brother-in-law, Steve, and I have been friends since 4th grade and he had just had serious cancer surgery. Seeing the family helped fill a real need within me. A weekend ago, Sara and I visited with my son, Ross, and his friend, Danylle, in Lynchburg, VA. All of those were certainly good days. There have been some hours of some days that have been pretty good as well. I've spent some, not nearly enough, time with close friends. I've spent most of a couple of days helping Twyla Pardue and Jeremy Pegram move what seemed like a ton of food from the local food bank to the church food pantry (does it always rain on the days food needs to be moved?) Believe it or not, one of my pretty good hours was at the doctor's office. My friend, Burnie Little, is a PA there. I made an appointment with him because I wasn't sleeping and had a general feeling of malaise (I believe that, without my daily medication, I could drop into depression faster than I could fall off a cliff.) Burnie is a strong Christian who listened to me carefully and then spoke to me wisely. I am sleeping better, but the sense of malaise hasn't abated much. I'm not sure it will until I once again experience some great days. It was just over 70 days between the time I got laid off by Old Salem and the time I was sure that I was going to the Navajo Reservation. During that time, I looked for non-existent jobs, I volunteered some, and I did some small extra part of the household chores. Since I've been back, I've looked for non-existent jobs, I've volunteered some, and I've done some small extra part of the household chores. That has been just 70 long days. I want to be able to see more clearly just what it is that God has planned for me. I daily pray that it won't be the same thing for my remaining years that it has been for the past 70 days. I'm not sure that there has been enough Cymbalta manufactured to keep me together if that turns out to be the case. God hears my prayers. God knows that my desire is to serve Him full time. God knows that I am discouraged. How can I know I am not stumbling off of God's chosen path for me if I cannot see it?