The Big Yellow Bus II: Don't Look Back!

In 1980, Don Knotts and Tim Conway spoofed Sherlock Holmes in the movie, "The Private Eyes". Secondary to the theme of the movie, Tim Conway, as Dr. Tart, is always trying to convince Don Knotts, as Inspector Winship, that there is really a monster called a Wookilar. The Wookilar is a human body with a pig face and tusks. Don Knotts is a die hard nonbeliever. In the last scene of the movie, which I highly recommend by the way, Inspector Winship is driving away from a, maybe, haunted house where they have somehow managed to solve a murder mystery. Dr. Tart, still trying to make a believer of Inspector Winship, happens to glance into the rear view mirror. Sitting in the backseat looking right back is, you guessed it, a Wookilar, pig face, tusks, and all. At that point, the movie ends. The moral of this little recap is don't look into the rear view mirror, you may not like what's looking back. That is certainly the case with my afternoon middle school run. In the morning, I deliver middle-schoolers to class before 7 a.m. They are still pretty groggy and don't cause much grief. In the afternoon, it is a whole different story. I sometimes feel that the only difference between having a bus full of middle school aged kids behind you and backing up to a monkey cage is that at least the middle school kids aren't throwing their own feces at me (not that I'd put it past them if they happened to think of it!) I really don't mind the noise. Noise doesn't hurt anything. I don't even mind having to sweep up the candy wrappers and other trash that they dump on the floor, even though there is a trash box at the front and at the back of the bus. Trash doesn't hurt anyone. What I have a real problem with is constantly having to tell them to not hang out of the windows (No longer a problem. I caught several of them throwing things out of open windows today and will refuse to let them open any of them again.) and to sit down. I'm sure that they think these simple rules are put in place to keep them from enjoying themselves. Until an accident happens, no one will believe that something could happen to them. Even if an accident does happen, they still won't believe that they could ever be involved. What worries me most about this is their disregard for their own safety. What worries me next most is that my job could very well hinge on someone getting hurt. As far as behavior goes, my high-schoolers are two dream trips. There are two things that keep me level headed and in no fear of throttling one of them. The first is that it is too easy to remember what I was like at that age. Little do they know that, no matter how bad they are, I've set a bar that they won't ever be able to reach (my sincere apologies to anyone who suffered me during those years.) The other thing is that I try to always remember that I'm carrying a bus full of future teachers, preachers, nurses, policemen, contractors, managers, craftsmen, tradesmen, etc. I think about what we became as we aged (and aged our parents!) and most of us didn't turn out too badly. I'm hoping that these kids do the same. Some of my kids are cute and have actual personalities. Some are lumps. Some can speak English in complete sentences. Some use the "F" word regularly when they think that I'm not listening. Some will look me in the eye and ignore me completely when I wish them "good morning." Some will at least acknowledge that I spoke. Some will actually wish me good morning or something similar in return. The one thing that is certain is that I have no morning persons from either school level. I guess that there is at least one more thing that is certain. It is never dull driving my bus. Coming soon... the plumage and mating habits of the pre-teens and teens as observed by this bus driver.