V!

Are you familiar with a TV show, new for this year, called "V!"? If not, maybe you remember a mini-series of the same name a few years ago. If you have missed both of these, the TV series named "Aliens" came close to the same type of story. In the new series, V!, the V stands for Visitors. These Visitors are aliens who have huge space ships hovering over 20 some of the largest cities in the world. The Visitors appear to be of human form and claim to have come in peace. Not far into the story: we find that the aliens really don't look human at all, but are disguised; that they don't come in peace, but to take over the world; and that they have been here for ill-purposes for some time already, but are just now making their presence known. Disguised as humans, it is impossible to tell a Visitor from anyone else. By now, you are probably asking yourself, "where in the world (no pun intended) is he going with all of this?" To add a bit more confusion, let me tell you that I don't sleep at night. I haven't slept for several months. Some nights I read or watch TV or work on my PC. Some nights, I stay asleep, but am plagued by nightmares. I strike out at things in my dreams, sometimes putting Sara at risk and sometimes knocking everything off of the nightstand. Sara and Pepper (the puppy) are about to vote me out of the bedroom! Sometimes I talk in my sleep and sometimes I shout out loud. Last night was a nightmare, shout out loud night. That's the bad news. There is good news. The nightmare, as best I can recall, involved me being attacked by the Devil. He disguised himself (now you see the tie to V!) as a human: as strangers, as friends, and even as my mother. All of these people, actually the disguised Devil, were trying to convince me to turn away from God and turn to Satan. Somehow, I was able to see through the disguise each time and, although I was very fearful, I was able to call for help. These shouts for help were what woke up everyone in the house and set the puppy to growling. The good news... the shout was "Help me, Jesus!" I have been down lately and felt that God was drawing away from me. Thank God, that seems to be only my conscious thoughts. I take comfort, not from the lack of sleep, but that, in my unconscious thoughts I am still and always turning to Christ for my help. I know that Christ has saved me and will never let me go. My plan is not God's plan and my time is not God's time, but that seems to be becoming more bearable. Am I disappointed? Yes. Am I more accepting? Yes, slowly. Do I still want to be in full time service? Of course. I miss the Navajo Reservation and my friends and work there and wish that God had planned to replace the thrill of service there with service here. With the help of my Christian friends here, I'll work on being more patient and more aware of what God does plan for me and ask of me. I would really be remiss if I didn't thank all of my friends who have reached out to me over the past few weeks. I've been hurting and I've needed you. Hopefully, there will never be the opportunity to return the favor, but I pray that I'll be there for you if you need it. I love all of you.