Waving The White Flag

Okay, God, I give up! As I listened to Jeremy preach at Seeds last night, I conceded the battle to God. A part of Jeremy's message, that we are all Christ's sheep and that we should always be aware of those around us and welcoming as they approach our flock, made me actually stop and think. Just like Terry, Jeremy must sometimes believe that, just because I have a glazed, faraway look in my eyes, I've stopped listening and started traveling. Not always so. Sometimes I take the thought that is being presented and run even farther with it as it impacts my own life. I had a chance to spend a little bit of time with Anne Elmore, our associate pastor, this past week. Sometime during the conversation, I remember rather passionately telling her that I want to be a shepherd! I want Christ to assign me a little flock. Sheep who would know my voice and sheep that I would know intimately. I want Christ to trust me with the responsibility of helping in a much more direct way than what I've done so far in my life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a supernumerary. Last night, in the small Seeds group, as I listened to Jeremy, I found that I am ready to concede the definition of my roll to Christ. I'm ready to wave the white flag. If I am a disciple who can be depended upon to watch carefully for that one lost sheep; if I am a disciple who helps to guard the flock against enemies; if I am a disciple whose arms hold a lost sheep and returns it to the flock; if I am a disciple who is used as the Shepherd's sling or staff to ward off danger; how can I ignore being that disciple just because I think I want to be a shepherd instead? My prayerful goal now becomes one of letting go of my own desires and becoming so much more aware of those desires of Christ for me. I have accepted Him as my shepherd and I must now listen for His voice.